DanJack
by The Mayor's Daughter
Summary: We all know about the loathed MarySues... but what happens when the her male equal, DanJack, shows up at the lodging house and starts stealing the newsies girlfriends?
1. and his name is

hiii kids :)

sunshine here, and i'm reposting this story that i posted a very long time ago and it got deleted for some reason. it's purley comedy. not meant to offend anyone, and last time it was up, it did get some good laughs.

NOTE: last time there was a casting call, and i dont want to have to re-write it. so i'll disclaim the peoples characters to their rightful people who responded to the casting call last time. i hope there wont be a problem, because they wanted to be in the story last time, why not this time? hah :)

summary: there's always been a mary sue... but what if there was a guy version of the evil that disgraces our dear fanfiction? a guy named dan-jack...

disclaimer: newsies it not mine, duh. i'll disclaim the characters i do not own in the next chapter, for that is where they appear. OH! i dont own the one camp-fire-song "sippin cider" either, and if you dont know how it goes... then... make up a tune in your head. :D

OKAYSOLETSSTART!

...sssssssssssss...

On day, some of the girl newsies from the Manhatten Lodging House were walking on the side walk, talking and laughing. There was Sunshine, England, Joker and Hippy. Suddenly, out of no wheres a boy fell out of an alley. Two boys came after him, with sticks risen in the air.

"WHY WONT YOU GET BEATEN UP!" one of the screached. The boy just smiled and grabbed the sticks out of both the boys hands' breaking them like toothpicks. He used but one single hand to give both boys a punch that sent them flying at least 8 feet away. The group of girls had been studying him, andSunshine thought he had a nice ass. All of a sudden. The boy fell down, his sandy blonde hair falling dramatically into his eyes.

"gasp!" said Hippy.

"What shall we do?" asked Joker, sounding like a five year old.

"We shall take him to the Lodgin House, for Jack's staying approval!"Sunshine said leader-ish-ly. They picked him up andSunshine made sure that she got to hold his ass up.

When they walked into the Lodging House, they barged through the door to find Medda and Kloppman having Tea!

"Oh! Were we interupting anything?" Asked England innocently, holding the sandy-haired boy's feet.

"No! just having tea with my Fiancee," Kloppman said, gesturing to Medda, who smiled and blushed. The girls screamed and dropped the boy with a smack on the ground.

"LIKE WOW! OMGZORZ!1! Ohhh Medda, wont Jack be sad?" Joker asked. Medda shooke her head.

"He has Sarah," Medda said.

"! I hate Sarah! I shall be her downfall and Jack shall fall for MEEEEEE!" Joker jumped up and down.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT RACETRACK! AND KID BLINK! AND SKITTERY! OH MY GOSH!"Sunshine screamed and hyperventalated.

"Well… Kid-Blink shall find the Mayor's Daughter and hook up with her, and Skittery has YOU Sunshine!" Medda folded her arms.

"Oh yeah! That's right!"Sunshine said and laughed nervously.

"RACETRACK!" screamed England.

"He has a crush on a girl in the Lodgin House," Medda Shrugged.

"I see…"Hippy thought. She had no man in the house and was planning to become: Either the Mayor's Daughter, or to become the girl Racetrack had a crush one. Feh! Hippy's a loser.

"Oh! I see a boy on the floor! What is he doing there!" Medda asked, and random orchestra music flowed through the air, and the girls broke out in song.

**(In the tune from 'Sippin Cider'.)**

"Well we were walking!"Sunshine started.

"Here to there!"Hippy finished.

"We just got ice cream at the fair!"England informed.

"WELL WE WERE WALKING HERE TO THERE! WE JUST GOT ICE CREAM AT THE FAIR!" The all sang loudly. Medda nodded, like they were talking, not singing.

"Then all at once," Joker led on.

"Out of no where,"Sunshine started the cycle over again.

"He jumped right out, into the air!"Hippy acted it out by jumping off Kloppman's front desk.

"THEN ALL AT ONCE OUT OF NO WHERE! HE JUMPED RIGHT OUT INTO THE AIR!" The screamed again.

"There was two guys,"England explained.

"Tryin' tah beat him up," Joker held up her fists.

" And I don't think, they were wearing cups!"Sunshine said randomly.

"THERE WAS TWO GUY TRYIN TAH BEAT HIM UP! SHE DON'T THINK THEY WERE WEARIN CUPS!" The all shrieked. Medda started laughing like mad and Kloppman started blushing.

"And so this guy,"Hippy continued.

"He took their sticks,"England sang.

"And Broke them like, they were toothpicks," Joker said.

"AND SO THIS GUY HE TOOK THEIR STICKS! AND BROKE THEM LIKE THEY WERE TOOTHPICKS!" the all yelled.

Sunshineskipped her turn

"We think he's hot,"Hippy squealed.

"He can't be passed,"England said.

Sunshinetook Jokers' turn.

"And that he has, a real nice ass!" She smiled. The others looked at her weird.

" WE THINK HE'S HOT HE CANT BE PASSED! AND THAT HE HAS A REAL NICE ASS!" They all sang while still looking atSunshine weird.

"we picked him up,"Joker said.

"And brought him back,"Sunshine smiled.

"and My name, Is Dan-Jack!" The boy said, having gotted up and being all concious and stuff.

"WE PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM BACK! AND HIS NAAAAMME IS…" they finally noticed he was awake and had sung like the prettiest bird that you ever did see.

_"DAN-JACK!"_

...sssssssss...

so you like?

plz review! haha :D


	2. Kloppmans Toilet

AHH : im so glad you people still loved my story the second time through! grr i hope it doesnt get deleted again. it's pure fluff and totally fun to write coz i dont really have to think about it. anywhatsit. I love the song "snakes on a plane" by Cobra Starship. And William from The Academy Is... is soooooo cute :D. i just dont know what to do.

so i believe some shoutouts are in order?

fa sho.

MushM12: Ahh nikki i'm just really mad you dont remember this story from the first time ahah. and yes DanJack sounds better I believe hah :D

xoborogrlxo:D here's more for you! i'm glad you think its funny!

Lady Sorciere:D sure i'd love to have ur character in the story! uhh just gimme the basics, like name, nickname, height, looks, personality, and shoe size. haha i asked for a shoe size in the last casting call so it's only fair! im glad you like my story!

sweets09:D glad you like it!

Kylie: ...oh well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cat (belongs to Ccat) Sparky (belongs to trucalifornian) Sparks (belongs to Sparks Kelly)England (belongs to MushM12) (this version of) Jazz (belongs to Neverlands Apprentice) or Aqua (belongs to Matchin' Laces)

Oh! and I went back to the first chapter to fix some errors MushM12 -nikkiii!- told me about:D so yay.

OKAYSTART.

...ssssssssss...

"Yes. Yes. Hello, salutations, aloha, hola, bonjiour, Konichi-wa, and all of the sort. My name is Dan-Jack, and I have come to steal your hearts- I mean I'm homeless. Can I stay here? Please? PLEASE! I'LL BE EATEN BY MOTHS AND FLYS IF YOU DO NOT LET ME STAY HERE!" he said, totally, like, going weird.

"Well, yanno, it's not really our choice tah let ya stay heah,"Sunshine said. They heard foot steps from the second floor.

" I heard singing!" Screamed one of them, tromping down the stairs. It was Cat, who was followed by Aqua.

"Oh. Singing. Happy day. _Joy,"_ Said Aqua very, VERY sarcastically.Cat poked her and told her to shut up.

"LOOK! A new boy!"Cat said pointing at Dan-Jack.

"Why yes, hello there miss's what are your names?" He said VERY Brittishly and hottly.Sunshine nearly fell over in swooning ness of his voice that sounded like the prettiest little bird that you ever did see.

"I's Cat,"Cat smiled wide-ly at him.

"Aqua. _Pleasure to meet you,_" Aqua glared at him, smirking at how he frowned at her greeting. The frown dissapeared quickly as he took Aqua's hand and planted a kiss on it.Cat glared at Aqua, as did all the other girls, BUT! Dispite their differences and how much they all hated each other, they were the BEST OF FRIENDS.

" The pleasure, is all mine," He said, again, VERY Brittishly.

"Gasp!" said Joker, putting her hand over her mouth.

" He doesn't have an accent!"Hippy said picking up on Joker's thought.

"SINNER!"Hippy shreiked, pointing at him.

"I'm awfully sorry ladies, but I'm from Europe, not New York," He shrugged, looking saddly downcast. The girls all sighed dreamily and forgave him with out words.

"Now would any of you mind showing me where the loo is?" He asked anxiously.

All the girls looked at him blankly.

"The bathroom," He corrected himself in english terms. They all 'oooohh'ed.

"you's do dis," Aqua said pointing at England.

"Whatevah you want," She said and led Dan-Jack upstairs. Surprisingly enough, she let him use, KLOPPMAN'S TOILET, a door and bathroom, all in one! But. This was a special bathroom that as you approached it or spoke it's name glowed in gold and had that angels 'Ahhhhh' sound, even when you flush the toilet! So that was whereEngland led Dan-Jack.

"Deah's da bathroom, Dan-Jack," She said gesturing.

"Ah yes, will do, I really have to go," he said running inside.

"Knock yoah self out sweetheart," She said through the door. So Dan-Jack sat down on the toilet and took a friggen crap. And as he was on the toilet, that beloved music came about the air. And Dan-Jack began to sing.

"Oh I'm sittin on the toilet and I'm not done, I'm not done, I'm not done, Sittin on the toilet and I'm makin a crap, makin a crap, makin a crap, Sittin on the toilet and I'm makin a crap, IT'S A MIGHTY FINE THING TO DO! There is no line, I feel just fine, the bathroom is ALL MIIIIIIIINE! The Bathroom is gold! There is no mold! I'm so happy that I'm NOT OOOOOLLLLDD! Because old ones can be constipated, you don't know how long I've waited, this bathroom time is much belated, Me and this bathroom we must be FATED! FOOOOOOOOOR DESTINNYYYYYY!" he finished and flushed the toilet, feeling much lighter, and his vochal chords quite exsersized.

"You ok in there?"England asked as Dan-Jack walked out of KLOPPMANS BATHROOM (ahhhhhh!).

"Why yes, had a mighty fine crap in there," Dan-Jack said smiling. Englanddidn't care what he just said, she swooned. Swooooon. A thought struck her.

_Wait! I's maddly in love wid Racetrack! I cannot be swooning ovah some boy who's name is Dan-Jack, has sandy blonde hair, gray eyes, a nice ass, nice voice, charming smile… WAIT! RACETRACK,ENGLND! RACTRACK! YOU LOVE HIM! LOOOOVE! MARRRIAAAGE!_

So, they went back down staires. Aqua was 'overjoyed' when she heard about Kloppman and Medda. _'oh joy, a wedding, yay, rapture.' _

As the walked down the stairs things were said.

" HEY LOOK! IT'S BIG FOOT!"Sunshine yelled.

"SMALL FOOT!"England screamed pointing at Sunshine.

"Me and Aqua have da same size foot! We're medium foot!"Cat said, ruffling Aqua's hair.

"Touch me again and you's die," Aqua said growling and giving a weird look to Cat.Cat meeped and jumped behind Kloppman.

"DEMON!" She yelled pointing at Aqua. And she made a face like "o.o".

"I shall go upstairs to ask Jack if you's can stay!" Joker said. She rushed upstairs and glomped Jack who was reading the paper he bought off himself.

"PLEEEASE CAN WE KEEP HIM? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" She begged in Jack's ear.

"No," Jack said, not even looking up. He turned the page in the newspaper. "ooooh! Da sports section! Yay jockeys!"

"PLLLLLEASSEE he said dat moths and flies will eat him if we's don't let him stay!" She begged.

"Can he sell?" Jack said dully.

"Hold on! Lemme go ask!" She said and darted back to the staircase.

"DAN-JACK! CAN YOU'S SELL WID DAH NEWSIES!" She yelled down the staircase.

"OH MOST DEFIONATLY!" he said, smiling. Joker swooned, his sandy blonde hair meant everything to her. She ran back to Jack.

"He said yes!" she said, losing her breath.

"He can stay," Jack said, turning the page. "Ohh! The Sunday funnies! HOORAY!" Joker ran down stairs.

"DAN-JACK YOU'S CAN STAAAAAAAAAY!" she screamed happily, sliding down the banister like a princess on wheels.

"YAY!" screamed everyone in the room, even the little mouse in the corner named Timothy.

...ssssssssss...

REVIEW!


	3. buy me a lollipop!

RARA! Oh well I guess I'm just here to tell you that I don't think this chap is AS funny as the rest, but still funny at some points.

SHOUTOUTS:

Sweets09:D yess timothy cheered:o look what happens to him at the end of THIS chapter!

Trucalifornian: yaaaay Adri i'm glad you remember :33

Lady Sorciere:D i'm glad you like it! yayyy. oooh have u sent me ur character yet? i'm waiting on thatt

Xoborogrlxo:D im glad i could brighten your day! i know long car trips are know fun... they'd be funner if I had a sidekick (the phone) ... then i could read fanfic in the car... and all would be well hahaha :D well i hope you like this chapter too!

**--sings-- Disclaimerrr: I don't own Newsies, The tune or words to 'Summer Lovin'' from Grease (awesome movie), and I don't own Cat (belongs to Ccat) Sparky (belongs to trucalifornian) Sparks (belongs to Sparks Kelly) England (belongs to MushM12) r Aqua (belongs to Matchin' Laces)**

**alright on with the story**

So yes. Dan-Jack stayed, and INSISTED that everyone call him DJ. It was so odd that the girls hugged him when ever they called him DJ. Scary. Scary as in a possesed care-bear with red eyes (RAGE!) fangs and a dycriptic meaning on its belly. Ooooh baby that's scary. Jack like, really really didn't like DJ because Joker wanted to sell with him. Heck, all the girls wanted to sell with him BUT! He. Chose. CAT! Cathleen Campi to be exact. But yanno, it was just easier to call her Cat. Yes. Yes it was. ALRIGHT! DJ chose Cat! Everyone gave her glares. It was awful. I mean Boots thought that they were gonna start shooting red heaty things out their eyes and burn holes through her.

"What shall you' call da red heaty tings which you thought would come out of our eyes?" Asked Sparky, not Sparks, who was her BEST OF BESTEST FRIENDS. Which is why their nicknames were almost alike.

"well. Lookie dere dey need a name now is it? IS IT? WHAT DO YOU'S EXPECT FROM ME! NOT A LOT I HOPE! BECAUSE I'M CALLING THEM LAZORS AND DON'T YOU'S DARE TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND YOU SPARKISH SPARK TING!" Boots when crazy. Sparky had spit all over her face, because Boots had a spitting problem. It was really nasty. Sparky turned to Sparks and looked devistated.

"wheah did he get lazors? I mean come on! He's gonna be a multi-millionaire and I's da one who made him give it a name. I should at least get a penny for that," Sparky complained. Sparks randomly sold a paper, and the person gave her a penny.

"I got a penny!" she said smiling. As Cat and DJ walked away, Jack yelled after them 'I'S SHALL TELL SPOT, CAT! DIS WILL BE THE END OF YOUUUUUUUUU!' and he took a look at the papers. 'oh! Da word nude! IT'S A GOOD HEADLINE! HOORAH!'

"Suuuuuunshiiiiine!" Skittery said pulling on her pant leg. "Will you's pllllleeeeaase buy me a lolipop?"

"NEVAH! I would buy DJ a lolipop but you's aint him are you!" Sunshine said in protest. Skittery stood up quickly.

"My name is Dan-Jack. I command you to buy me a lollipop," Skittery said very welly pulling of a Brittish accent.

"hoorah!" Sunshine said and bought him a lolipop.

"Dan-Jack, Dan-Jack!" Sunshine said tugging on Skittery's sleeve. Skittery rolled his eyes.

"My name aint Dan-Jack!" he said. Sunshine looked taken aback.

"No?" she said.

"No," Skittery said with the lolipop in his mouth.

"IMPOSTER! TRAITOR! SCAB!" she yelled very quickly.

So they all sold. It was horrid. Except for Cat. She was with Dan-Jack. Well Aqua was ok because she seemed un-effected by DJ's spell so she was very happy selling with Mush. Yes. Yes she was. But when they all got back to the Lodging House all the girls crouded around DJ glomping him at the same time, which, as it turns out, could be accepted as foot-ball. So the next time you see a foot ball game, don't think they're tackling the man just to get the ball. They are glomping him out of love for the pig that died to make that foot ball. Yes. Yes they are. So everyone went upstairs. Except Sunshine. Sunshine stayed at the bottom of the stairs waiting expectantly. Aqua and Sparks waited with her, until Aqua asked what she was waiting for.

"Beem me up Scotty!" Sunshine said tapping the left side of her collar bone. Aqua rolled her eyes.

"Sunshine, that show doesn't come of for, I don't know 70, 80, 90, 100 years or something," She said in annoyance.

"Good golly gosh no way!" Sparks said surprised. When they got upstairs it seemed normal. Odd. Because DJ was here and that's not normal. BUT! DJ was not there. He was GONE! (dun dun DAH!)

"Bumlets, Bumlets!" Yelled Sparks, clinging to her boyfriends sleeve, much like Sunshine was doing to Skittery when she thought he was DJ. "Where is DJ?"

"Out. He said he had stuff to do," Bumlets mumbled as he was reading 'Different Techniques of 'Spinning on a Fan''.

"Phooey," Sparks said and slumped away. Medda was in the lobby, and the girls, including Sparks because she flew down stairs, were crowded around her. Kloppman was not present, neither was Aqua. Maybe they went to the market. Market. Market! Alrighty but yes, they were crowded around Medda, asking questions. And upstairs The boys were crowding around Jack asking questions.

**Downstairs**

"Medda!" Hippy asked over the volume. " If you's and Jack had nothing den what wit da kissing on da hand and da 'hanging on your every woid' and he kissed you at da rally! EXPLAIN DAT!"

"Summer Fling," Medda Shrugged. All the girls gasped.

**Upstairs**

"So how did Medda and you's get involved," Asked Racetrack.

"She used tah be me babysittah when me dad foist went to Jail, but den I's came here and we developed somethin moooahhh," He said waggling his eyebrows.

**(AN: OMG THIS IS SO GROSS BUT BEAR WITH ME --walks away shuddering-- I'm not a fan of Jack/Medda)**

"How long did it last?" Asked Mush.

"Just Foah dah strike an' da summah," Jack said. The boys 'ooohh'ed.

"Summah fling," Kid Blink nodded.

**both places**

music began to play, Jack jumped on top of a bunk, and the girls arranged them self on the stairs, leaving Medda and Jack in story telling positions. The music was more up beat and had 1950's written all over it.

**Downstairs**

Medda began to sing.

"Summer Datin' there's no compare," She sang. The girls rocked back and forth on the steps in a rhythmic motion, you could almost see the poodle skirts blossoming at their feet. But oh well.

**Upstairs**

Jack also sang

"Summer Datin' Glad there's no fare," He sang from the bunk he was standing on. The guys looked at him and they were all snapping and you could almost see the leather jackets with 'T-birds' on the back. It was frightin (greeeasseed lliiiightniiiin!).

**(yeah I'm gonna stop saying upstairs downstairs. If it's the boys singing, its upstairs, if it's the girls singing, its downstairs. Unless I say so)**

"Met a guy, younger than me," Medda sang laughing, the girls squealed and stomped their feet.

"Met a gal, Cute as can be!" Jack sang. The guys whistled.

"Summer Love, free as a dove, but watch out for su-hum-er nights," They all sang in harmony at the same time WITH OUT KNOWING IT! My lord, Disney movies are magic.

The girls on the stairs began singing "well-a well-a well-a woo! Tell me moah! Tell me moah!" the all sang and Joker stood up.

"Is he as great as I think?" She asked.

The guys also began to sing "Tell me moah! Tell me moah!" and Crutchy, being the one who asked odd questions asked.

"Did her house have a sink?" the other guys threw their hats at him and he hobbled away muttering.

And they guys began going "Doo – doo!" while the girls would go "uh huh!" and they did it all simulaniously and God was afriad. He was like o.o. and I mean, this is off the subject, but God has never even used KLOPPMANS TOILET (ahhhh!) and then Mute just up-and-lets DJ use it. NOW WHAT KIND OF FOLLOWER IS THAT! Now I don't know. On with the song.

"He sang for me, his voice was crap!" Medda sang, sticking out her tongue. They girls awwwed and shook their head sadly. (now, I love Christians voice, but that was the first thing to pop in my head and that is what I use… the first thing that pops in my head. Always.)

"She sang for me, and she did tap," Jack said, demonstrating doing tap-dance on the bed.

"We went shopping around town!" Medda laughed. The girls laughed too.

"We were boozin', drank lemonaide!" Jack said proudly. The boys rolled their eyes. Let me tell you, lemonaide is NOT boozing. Never was, never has been. I am sorry to dissapoint those of you who think you got drunk off lemonaide, myself included, but it just did not happen! I'm sorry! On with the song.

"Summer love, came from above, bu-hut watch out for su-hum-er nights," they all sang AGAIN! IN SYMOULTANIOUSLYNESS THAT IS AWESOME!

The boys sang like pretty.

"Well-a well-a well-a," They all did the pelvic thrust and grunted. "UH! Tell me moah, tell me moah," and racetrack sang like the pretty bird he is. "Did ya always do right?" Jack nodded proudly at his question.

"Tell me Moah, tell me moah!" and Sunshine stood up. "Did ya get in a fight!" Medda shook her head no, looking at Sunshine like a one legged dog named 'lil brudda'. And the girls and boys went 'down doobey doobe doo, doobey doobey, down' and the guys 'uh hu uh huh.'

"well we were happy, eatin' some pie," Jack said. Pie eater jumped up and down and went 'WOO! WOO!'

"we walkin, and he poked my eye," Medda said holding her eye. The girls laughed.

"She held a bunny, I thought I'd die!" Jack said, which didn't make sense. Maybe the bunny was cute enough to die for.

"A bunny bit me, and I said 'my my!'" Medda showed them the scar on her hand where the rabbit had bitten her.

"Summer Love, fits like a glove, bu-hut watch out for su-hum-er nights," They both said and they had a look in their eyes like they were four years old again and they had their favorite teddy bears.

"Well-a well-a well-a woo!" the girls sang. "tell me moah, tell me moah," and Sparky stood up "did he carry you're bag?" Medda was like 'what bag, where, I want a hand bag!'

"Tell me moah tell me moah," Sang the boys and Mush came forth, with his beautiful voice of a thousand wedding bells singing this very song over in denmark.

"Did you give her that rag?" he asked pointing to Jacks neck-bandana thing. Jack looked furious like 'WTF NO I WOULD NEVER GIVE ANYONE MY NECK BANDANA THING BLASPHOMY! BLASPHOMY I SAY!'

both the boys and girls went 'shoody bop bop shoody bop bop shoody bop bop YEAH!'

"He got friendly, kissin my hand," Medda said putting out the hand as if you could see Jack's lip marks on it. Ew. Wrinkly hands.

"She got friendly, she had a demand," Jack said wiggling his eyebrows.

"He was sweet, he's seventeen!" Medda said and the girls nodded, knowing that already.

"we saw da hood, and it wasn't clean!" Jack said randomly.

"Somer Love, somethin's begun, bu-hut watch out for su-hum-er nights," They both sang.

"WAH WAH WAH!" the boys sang loudly. "Tell me moah, tell me moah", and Skittery stepped foreward. "Did it come to an end?" Jack shrugged.

"Tell me moah tell me moah!" Hippy rose her hand. "Can he get me a friend?" Medda shrugged. the music slowed. Jack and Medda sang sadly.

"We went on strike, that's where it ends," Jack said sadly.

"I met Kloppman, Now we're just friends," Medda said looking up dramatically.

"She's getting married, I'm with Sarah now!" Jack said, his voice almost reaching its limit in high-ety.

"He's upstairs, he's singing now," Medda said. SHE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!

"Summer Love, dreams gone away, bu-hut, oh…. Those SU-HUM-ER NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!" they both sang while the boys and girls slowly sang "tell me moah, tell me moah, tell me moooooaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" and the song ended. SUDDENLY the front door blew open. And a paper flew inside.

"Hello" said the note. No one read it. It talked. It was like one of those magic letter puppet things. If they knew what it was, the girls and Medda would have thought they were in Elmo's World, where everything's a puppet, and everything talks, except Dorothy the gold fish. And the baby's and Mr. Noodo. So the letter talked.

"Alrighty people. I have been informed from a certain Anonymous, that this certain Anonymous, has kidnapped you're friends, is stuffing them with food and drink of the best kind, and is not letting them use the bath-room. The ones kidnapped were a Mr. Kloppman, and a young lady named Aqua. This certain Anonymous has a ransom, and I'm staying here till he tells me what it is. And that song, that you were singing, it doesn't come out for another 60… 70 years." And with that the note flew to Kloppman's filing cabinet, and they heard a relaxing 'aaaaaaaaaahhhh' as he settled himself in, relaxing his paper spine.

"A RANSOM!" Yelled Sparky, petrified. Money scared her. Yes it did.

"GOOD GOLLY GOSH NO WAY!" screamed Sparks.

"there is only one way to cover the ransom," Joker said stroking her chin. Sunshine knew!

"MEDDA! TO WORK!" She yelled. Medda saluted and ran to Irving Hall in that Bright Pink dress she wears, lucky she wasn't shot, yelled at, or pooped upon by a bird. So Medda worked, the girls screamed their heads off, and the boys remained oblivious to any action what so ever. All of a sudden, DJ walked in! the girls glomped him.

"AQUA GONE!" Screamed Hippy.

"KLOPPY MISSIN!" Yelled Cat.

"KIIIIDNAAAAAPP!" cried England. DJ stood up, all the girls still clinging to him.

"We must get them back!" he said, with a hero and strong superman-ish type voice. The girls squealed in delight, and Timothy the mouse was stricken deaf by the high-pitched-ness of their voices.


	4. There was a collective

sorry for the whole blah me not updating thing :

but here is a chapter that i wrote TODAY an i hope you all like it!

OKAYOKAY

**SHOUTOUTS**:

**Sweets09:** inoo : poor Timothy. but wait till you see what happens to him in THIS chapter! ... didnt i say that last time? D: oh geez. haha i like grease too:/ oddly enough i dont own the movie. peh.

**Lady Sorciere: **:D yayyy im glad you liked it. OH! OH! IKNOWIKNOW! jack/medda is THEGROSSEST THING EVER. :(( make it stop. make it diiie.

**xoborogrlxo:** :D i like the book Bumlets was reading too. i'm sure it was very interesting... i'll have to ask him about that :O. im glad you like it yay :D its like a prize.

OKAYSTARTCHAPTER

...sssssssssssss...

All the hustle and bustle about Aqua and Kloppman getting stolen had died down and the hubaloo of discussing how to get them back had begun.

"_HOW MUCH _is the ransome?" Sunshine inquired with a finger on her chin.

"you dont EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH?" Jack screeched.

"Uhm. Well. Mr. Paper Man didn't say?" Sunshine started to hide behind Skittery.

"WHAT? HOW-YOU-EEP-EXHAUST FUMES!" Jack started having a stress attack, and Hippy threw some metal stress balls at him which hit him in the face and knocked him out.

"Uhm. You can stop hiding now." Skittery said over his shoulder.

"Less talky, more blocky," Sunshine squealed.

"But he's UNCONCIOUS!" Skittery pointed out.

"YOU DONT KNOW THAT! HE COULD POP OUT OF THE SNOW! LIKE DAISIES!" Sunshine paniced.

"...There...Is no snow."

"YOU DONT KNOW THAT!"

At that moment DJ walked through the door and all the girls glomped him except for Sunshine because Skittery was still blocking her and he blocked her view and she didnt know what was going on.

"DJ-DJ-DJ!" England screamed. "AQUA! KLOPPY! GONE? YES!"

"Great scott! What a predicament! I _ALSO_ have tragic news!" DJ's eyes grew large and beautiful.

"Do tell!" Hippy was too cheerful for a time like this.

"Well, on the way home, CAT! was stolen!" There was a collective gasp when DJ continued.

"And there was a ransome!" He added. At his statement, Jack sat straight up and yelled.

"HOW. MUCH!"

"Err... Paper didn't say?"

Jack started to panic again, and Crutchy picked up the stress balls and threw them at Jack's head, once again knocking him out. Joker rushed to his side and frowned at Crutchy, shooting those lazor beams Boots had been talking about out of her eyes.

"Hey!" Crutchy squeaked. "Those stress balls really DO work! I'm magically STRESS FREE!" Crutchy did his infamous 'Charlie Brown' dance move and ran skipping down the halls. With, of course, the help from his crutch.

"Spot's not gonna be happy that his girl got stolded." Pie-Eater Pouted. Hah. Say THAT five times fast.

"Who learned YOU how to spoken!" Joker sneered. Pie-Eater pouted some more, and promptly plodded over to a corner to deeply, deeply, pout. Every once in a while you could hear sad, small "woo..."'s coming from Pie's corner.

"Why are our girls dissapearin'?" Snitch stroked his chin in thought. There was a collective 'hmm...' as everyone started thinking.

"Maybe it's a sign! Maybe girl newsies werent meant to BE!" Racetrack suggested. He was immideatly pummled with hats from every direction.

"Need. Kloppy! Aqua! Cat! Need! Ah! Ah!" England started hyperventalating at the absense of her friends and keeper of the Newsies Secret Headquaterts...er... Lodging House. Everyone watched as she sunk to the ground from lack of air.

"Y'know... If Kloppman were here, he'd give her some oxygen." Mush thought out loud. There was a collective "yeah..." and Racetrack finally opened a window and stuck Englands head out of it.

"Moooo..." She sighed as beautiful air entered her happy lungs.

"I BET THE DELANCEYS ARE STEALING THE GIRLS!" Hippy suggested... loudly.

"They've been gone since... the end of the strike," Skittery fondly remembered when he'd stuck his tongue out at them as they'd walked by.

"...REVENGE!" Hippy yelled.

"They're proally rich from gambling their faces off in that new state, Nevada." Switfy told them. "They dont WANT revenge."

"Poop." Hippy felt rejected and went to join Pie in his corner.

" Never fear! I will find your precious ladies!" DJ burst into conversation, sad and upset that the attention hadnt been on him for more than 2 minutes.

"Alright!" Mush cheered. All the other boys glared at Mush. He seemed oblivious that they'd all decided that they dont like DJ.

"I'll take the girls through the city and search!" DJ took 'Peter-Pan' stance as the girls flocked to him.

"DJ! I cant wait till we... find... wait... so... cute..." Sparks tried to speak to DJ but was sidetracked by his beauty.

"Focus!" Sparky smacked her friend on the back of the head.

"YES! CANTWAITTOFINDAQUA/KLOPPY/CAT!" Sparks quickly said before she was hypnotized by DJ's beauty again.

"Yes!" DJ said. "Let us be off!"

And the girls left the Lodging house, cooing and squealing over DJ's perfect sandy blonde locks.

As soon as the door shut, all the newsies jumped to their feet. Even, amazingly, Jack. and Pie. and Crutchy came back from dancing through the halls.

"I THINK _HE_ DID IT!" They all said at once.

"It's only reasonable!" Blink nodded.

"Yeah! _HE_ shows up and our girls start dissapearing like dinosaurs!" Dutchy frowned.

"... Dinosaurs? Dutchy?" Specs scoffed.

"SHUTUPILOVETHEM." Dutchy screamed.

"Wait... if we all think _he _did it, then _why_ did we just let _all_ the girls leave with him!" Mush started freaking out.

"...you're RIGHT!" Skittery gasped. There was a collective silence so heavy that Timothy the mouse regained his hearing and the Anonymous letter mumbled "youguysaredumb."

"OH CRAP!" the boys all screamed and scrambled towards the door.

...ssssssssssssssss...

hhaaa. i bet you didnt think when i said danjack started stealing away the newsies girlfriends, he wouldnt LITERALLY steal them. im sly haha :D so i hoped you liked it? i didnt think when i wrote it. i just diid.

REVIEWPLZZZ


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